The following is a self-help review for couples to be done yearly or even quarterly to determine one’s progress to richer living. Ask yourself:
- Am I so living that I have a better chance of earning heaven than I did a year ago?
- Am I practicing my religion faithfully and meaningfully?
- Am I dealing honorably, charitably, with my fellow-men?
- Am I deepening the love which my marriage partner and I feel for one another by my devotion, patience and understanding?
- Am I aware of his/her virtues, tolerant of his/her shortcomings?
- Am I helping him/her to get to heaven?
- Am I doing my duty by my family joyfully, unremittingly?
- Do I deal generously with my employer or employees?
- Do I ever strive to help the poor or oppressed?
If you are a parent, examine your children’s development:
- Am I helping my children’s spiritual growth by personal example, inculcating habits of daily prayer, Mass attendance, rosary devotions, etc.?
- Are they learning to control their emotions and their desires?
- Are they happy and adjusted to life?
- Are they truthful, honorable, self-reliant?
- Do they share joys, belongings, and duties cheerfully?
- Are their manners improving?
What of your family life?
- Do you talk to one another of anything save the mechanics of living?
- Do you confide in one another?
- Are you loyal?
- Do you present a united front to the world?
- Do you enjoy each other’s company?
- Do you read, sing, play games, go on outings together?
- Do you respect one another’s confidences, take pride in accomplishments, sympathize with troubles?
What of your life as a couple?
- Has your concern for children or job pushed your wife/husband into the background of your life?
- Do you confide in one another?
- Do you listen when your mate talks of his/her problems, ambitions, worries and accomplishments?
- Do you respect one another’s opinions?
- Do you express your love in words and deeds?
- Do you have time for each other?
- Do you happily spend some of your leisure hours together, without children or others?
- Do you try as hard to please each other as you did during your courting days?
- Who is your husband’s sports hero?
- What color is your wife’s winter coat?
If you cannot answer these last two questions, you are losing interest in each other.
What of your personal life? Ask yourself:
- Do I enjoy the work that fills my days? What can I do to make it pleasanter?
- Is my leisure spent in ways that truly please me, with people I really like, or does sheer inertia keep me glued to a television screen or gossiping with bores?
- How long is it since I have: learned a new skill, craft, art, or game? Read material that challenged my intellect, enlarged my horizons, deepened my understanding of life?
- Am I keeping abreast of world affairs and scientific advances?
- Have I made new friends? Kept in touch with old ones?
- Am I becoming narrow-minded, opinionated, boresome?
- What can I do for me to make next year happier?
-from American Catholic Etiquette, pp.242-243
