New habits are a challenge! Replacing one habit with another is positively life-changing. This month gave me the shortest amount of time and, because of school break, a slight return to life before 2014. That’s completely fine. I’m in the last week of February, and I’m going to try my best to get back on track.
And prepare for Lent, which is right around the corner!
But first, I’d like to re-visit the goals I made for February, and share with you what worked, and what didn’t.
1) Listen to my kids when they are speaking to me. I have a bad habit of letting my kids go on and on until I sense that some sort of response is required, and that’s when I say: “Oh, nice.” Yeeeaah…poor listening skills modeled there, that’s for sure. I forgot to practice attentive listening most of the time this month, mostly because I didn’t realize I was tuning them out until I heard myself give the thoughtless remark. But there were some times when I did actually stop what I was doing to listen well, and I will continue to work hard on this basic practice of good manners. If what they are telling me is important to them, it can be important to me.
2) Time alone with God. I absolutely loved adding this to my day! (Finally!!) It’s not completely “alone” time, but when my kids are older these 15 minutes will eventually be more suitable for contemplative prayer. For now, this is what I’m doing to get in the habit of daily prayer:
Before school starts at 9 am, I sit in the living room, pull out my phone, open the Laudate app, and start off by praying Terce, the prayers of the Divine Office (Liturgy of the Hours) that are said at 9 am all over the world. (I figure I’m close enough!) Then, I read and pray the readings and prayers for the Mass of the day and the Saint of the day. Next I read a reflection on the readings from Mass, and spend some time reflecting on everything I’ve prayed and read. I end by moving the the prie dieu to kneel and ask God to be with me throughout the day. I spend as much time as I can there, and then I announce to the boys that it’s time for Family Morning Prayers.
3) Breakfast Devotions and Family Prayer Time. I think I remembered to do something at breakfast twice. The main obstacle to this habit is that we don’t all eat breakfast at the same time. I see lots of other homeschool moms out there with a set time for breakfast, and maybe this needs to happen first. The 2-year-old in our home gets up at 6:30, the 6-year-old get up at 7/7:30, and the 4-year old gets up at 8. I could try giving the 2 year old a little something to eat at 6:30, and then wait for the other two for the “real breakfast” when the 4-year-old is awake.
Family prayer time became more consistent when I added it to my own prayer routine. Usually, the boys are close by while I’m saying my morning prayers, so I’ve started reading the saint of the day out loud, since the breakfast devotions haven’t been made a habit yet. When I finish my own morning prayers at the kneeler, I call the boys to me for family prayer. We say familiar Catholic prayers like the Hail Mary, Angel of God, and a brief Morning Offering. I also read the Collect from the day’s Mass (on my phone again, on CatholicCulture.org).
So many good things have happened since I started all these routines, habits, and prayers. I thank God for His patience with me in taking many years to finally DO what He put in my heart a long time ago. I pray for the grace of perseverance, and I pray to keep the end in sight, the reason for all these new habits: a closer relationship with God and my family.
Something I’d like to focus on here is all of us eating together more often. We’ve degenerated over the years into grabbing a plate and going our separate ways, at least my kids have. It’s more like a cafeteria, instead of family time to sit around the table and share what went on during the day. I miss that time, but it’s also a reflection of the pace we live our lives out here. Mary is usually at work, running a Ministry of sorts in the Mental Health Center the family owns. So, very often it’s just me and the two remaining kids.
Prayer time with the kids is something I’d like to do better. Right now, they are 10 years old, and I’ve offered them to share in the Rosary, but get very little positive response from them. I suppose more time doing the Readings myself, and a continuation of spontaneous prayer that they do participate in will help.
I should actually set out some goals of my own, as you have, and work towards them, it’s just that the ebb and flow of so many outside events/incidents seems to prevent any real regiment of sorts. I have 4 older kids with a total of ten grandkids and then the two 10 year olds that we adopted as babies.
Anyway, it is good for me to see your progress there and try to get some here as well. It’s important for all of us, no matter what our particular vocation or family situation to unite in the desire to serve God as good Catholic parents and Grandparents. “LOVE” truly does start at HOME.
Thank you, Jeff, for bringing up an important point: each person has to work out their salvation in their own ways that will work best for their personalities and life situations and with their own goals. I’m glad what I share is giving you ideas; that’s really one of the two reasons why I share these personal goals. (The other reason is accountability. I work better with deadlines and someone and something – this blog and the readers – to “report” to.)
If I find a useful article with ideas about bringing the family together I will share it with you!
As for the Rosary, we aren’t saying it as a family…we got out of that habit when the boys’ behavior was so deplorable night after night that our prayer time became a time of getting angry…SO not what Mary wants!! But this weekend I read the advice to only say (and explain) one decade a day with young children. I’m considering this for a family Lenten practice…gotta start somewhere!
God bless your family!
Erin that is awesome. I’m now inspired and need to rework my schedule. Just in time for lent!
Erin, lots to think about and implement during lent. Thanks for sharing
You’re welcome, Adrianne! I’m looking forward to a good Lent!